Music Performance Anxiety - Pursuing Authenticity
The Music Performance (Anxiety) Workout - MPW Activity 2
“Authenticity” in music can have many meanings and implications. Music can be considered authentic by conforming to a particular style, time period, culture, or musical practice. Music authenticity can also be in relationship to an original performance, composition, or recording to give just a few examples. In our current AI reality, authentic music may even come to describe music created by a human.
At The Musician Coach, authenticity refers to approaching one’s musicianship in a way that is true to one’s spirit, character, personality, and/or values. It is common in institutional music to be encouraged to find one’s “inner voice” or to “say something” in music making, but then be told, “You are doing it all wrong… now play it like this.” Understandably, learning to play “authentically” in relation to a particular style or time period is a useful skill, but this skill is also a type of conforming to outside expectations. Continuously trying to meet what others expect of you, without being guided also by your own meaning and purpose, can contribute to anxiety, including music performance anxiety.
See Music Performance Anxiety - It's Time to Face the Music for a list of the music performance anxiety concepts addressed by The Musician Coach including #3 which is discussed in this article.
3. Anxiety is individually constructed, and reducing anxiety involves working towards self-discovery (listening to your inner voice), autonomy (reducing the effects of outside noises coming at you), and presenting yourself authentically; all while continuing to hone your craft.
Here is the problem - you can’t please everyone else. Music is subjective, and there are multiple interpretations of conforming to style and performance practice. As soon as you please one critic with your interpretation there is another waiting to tell you that you are wrong. This creates an illusion of an inability to be successful due to allowing others to define your level of success. Sensing a lack of control over your own success can lead to performance anxiety.
To reduce anxiety, find your true self and pursue goals based on personal meaning and purpose. Then, utilize education to meet personal goals rather than allowing education to define your goals.
Though I am sure similar discrepancies exist in other creative practices, I know of no other creative field where such a large percentage of the study is in recreating exactly what was already created (please share in the comments below if you thought of a similar field of study). We admire historical approaches to art, writing, acting, dance, and story telling, but while appreciating the originals in these fields, we create our own original work in that style. In music it is possible to graduate with a music performance or music education degree and not have created, composed, or improvised any new content of substance. Instead, the focus is on recreating music in a way that is “right” depending on who you are playing for.
In the short term, we aren’t going to change the institutional approach to music learning, and there is much to gain from music study in institutions. However, learning who you are and how to present that musically is not always their top priority. Finding your own path, your own meaning and purpose, must be initiated by you, and in your search you begin to define your own successes.
authentic
adjective au·then·tic
3: true to one's own personality, spirit, or character; is sincere and authentic with no pretensions
from Merriam-Webster.com
Finding Purpose and Meaning for Authenticity
Having purpose in life is associated with better management of stress and overall well-being. Greater purpose was also found to mediate the effect of social media “likes” on self-esteem. Keep in mind that research has shown a possible association between increased anxiety and seeking one’s purpose when personal purpose is viewed as fixed, attainable, and/or grandiose. Over a lifetime we have many different experiences and opportunities to live a meaningful life. Finding purpose and meaning in life should be approached as an ongoing journey, looking both inward and around you for information that is meaningful for you in this place and at this time, and through small attainable goals while avoiding looking for the “one right answer”.
The Fan Club, a band based out of Western Michigan, exemplifies authenticity both as a musical ensemble and as individual musicians. Each musician is featured as a vocalist, instrumentalist, improvisor, arranger, and composer. The musical selections performed represent the choices contributed by each and every band member, and the musicians often trade parts to allow individual exploration and development. While simultaneously balancing individual and ensemble creativity, this band serves their audience through many levels of interaction including noticing and acknowledging individuals and happenings in the audience and immediate surroundings, and then weaving those awarenesses into the overall performance.
A local FAN Club band supporter set a box of fresh peaches by the tip jar. Tommy immediately inserted a “thank you” into the lyrics of the current tune. Then, The Fan Club went into an entire set of “peaches” songs, with improvised transitions creating a medley dedicated to peaches, and then included an original song by Eric called Summer Peach, followed by a few more songs where they turned familiar songs into peach songs. And like a perfectly constructed comedy routine, in the end they brought you right back to the beginning of the peach medley for a sense of completeness and awe. It was creative, risky, exhilarating, challenging, and most of all, it was authentic. This level of musicianship does not exist without a musical environment of support for individual and collective contribution, a shared goal of achieving a heightened level of musical performance, awareness of each band member as a creative individual by each band member, openness for taking chances, and trust that no one would be left behind. Though it takes a high level of technical proficiency to achieve this level of communication in performance, perfection is a far second to the goal of creativity. What is overwhelmingly presented is individual and ensemble authenticity.
Being individually authentic and open allows for the band to breathe and respond to the surroundings. Some audience members are more open to being engaged than others, and by the last set there will be a group of listeners who have moved closer to the band, completely caught up in the exchange of energy. Engaging and serving an audience serves a higher purpose than self and creates a meaningful human interaction through music.
This heightened level of musical experience occurs because each musician first is coming from a place of their own authenticity. If even one musician was seeking their identity from or through this band, rather than bringing their authentic self to the band, such performances would not be as effective. The confidence for the type of spontaneity and audience engagement that The Fan Club achieves comes from the individual musicians showing up, and then being allowed and encouraged to present themselves, as their authentic self.
The Musician Coach is a coaching site for musicians with weekly activities in areas such as music performance design and music performance anxiety to support you in making and meeting personal goals, regardless of what type of musician you are, or how music fits into your life. Weekly articles and activities provide a coaching mindset for cultivating bravery and encouraging the small steps that can have big impacts on your life journey.
Working through coaching activities with a friend or group can broaden your scope of awareness while building personal relationships.
Activities for Pursuing Authenticity
Make time each day to be alone, without media, without a phone, and listen. Listen around you, listen from within you, and begin to hear your meaning and purpose. If you are uncomfortable, begin with an openness or gratitude exercise. For more information see these introduction articles:
Set a goal that fits your schedule to experience and try new things that interest you, in particular things that also make you slightly uncomfortable. For example, doing things alone such as taking a drive to a new place, going on a walk or hike, or going to a public space like a restaurant alone (without talking/texting/emailing someone at the same time). Perhaps you can schedule an activity once a week (or once a day or once a month), to spend time with yourself, doing something new, without distraction. Continue in this new environment to listen for your meaning and purpose as you grow and as your ideas evolve. Notice what is happening around you and journal about your changing perspective after these experiences.
Practice making music in a new and unusual environment that is connected in some way to your personal interests, strengths, and/or values. Journal about your changing perspective after these activities. (Read about identifying your personal strengths and take the VIA Survey of Character Strengths here.)
Schedule and give a musical performance of any kind based on a personal meaning or purpose. For example, this can be one song, sung over the phone, to someone you miss. Or one song shared with someone in the hospital. Or a 30 minute concert at a care facility. Or a how-to concert teaching a song at the library. Or a performance at an open mic night with a special dedication. Or an invitation to someone to make music with you. Or….???
What is meaningful to you? How might you make music in a way that connects you to your personal values, what you think is important, how you find meaning, and your life’s purpose?
Share your thoughts and experiences by leaving a comment below to contribute to The Musician Coach community experience.
Every December for the last 3 years, some friends and I have gotten together to do some trombone quartet caroling, for residents at retirement centers around Chattanooga. It is always one of my very favorite gigs of the year! We get to relax and have fun, joke with the audience, and play great Christmas music for them. Doing something to brighten the season for others, while having fun, also brightens our hearts. The feeling of gratitude from the audience is palpable, and I end up feeling grateful for the experience too.
Thanks Erin. A good read....especially for newer members of New Horizons bands. I recall being completely petrified at the first concert in which I participated soon after joining the band. It had been 40 years since I had been a part of a "performing ensemble."